Stripes of Melancholia

Friendship.

The word has been bothering my mind ever since last month. I question the truly meaning of it. Well, before I give you my own perspective, perhaps I should write the actual meaning. Literally, the word means the emotions or conduct of friends, the state of BEING FRIENDS, a relationship between friends, but here is the one that I like the most... a state of MUTUAL TRUST and SUPPORT between allied nations or I may say... persons, PEOPLE. In other words, it is an attachment, a unity, a harmony,... a mutual affection. 

My own perspective defines it as the state of knowing that there are these people whom you call "my friends" and you simply want them to be happy, just like you want yourself to be happy too. You need them not only when you need someone to console you anytime you feel down or someone to help you when you haven't studied anything for your exams, but you also do need them to KNOW and REALIZE... that you want to do the same thing for them. That you care about them. That honesty is NOT a difficult issue to share to each other. That you simply want to be there and around for them though times and space tell you the opposite. 

In my opinion, friendship is basically not that easy. Just like other things that color your life, it may go up and down. However, I think neither giving nor getting matter. Never. What really matter is openness and of course... understanding. Therefore, you must realize that if there's no mutual understanding on where exactly you SET THE BOUNDARIES between you and your friends, well then, never be surprised if a disaster comes along. You may want to give your 100% to this idea of friendship, but can your friends handle that? And... most importantly, can you and your pride handle the fact that it is actually too overwhelming for them? That they just really can't take it, yet they never let you understand the situation? So what's next? 

Well, take it from me (me as in my experience). When you are barely given the slightest chance to substantially analyze problems between you guys or just to know where possibly you may stand for them, but in a way never try to disturb them, then that is DEFINITELY the time you need to acknowledge that eventually... you are gonna be all alone, ON YOUR OWN. 

Trust me! You are just gonna seem so,so stupid and PATHETIC if you keep trying to understand it.

So, here it is! For you, my friends if you ever read this... I am sorry, really am sorry that I pull out my anger just because I never got that chance (and of course because I'm not a psychic who can read people's minds... OBVIOUSLY!), but somehow it has taught me to be humbly saying that I apologize if I have ever done anything wrong to you and even if I haven't, I sincerely apologize for letting this PROBLEM (God knew and always know, like you said, who actually did it right?) intrude our so-called- CLOSE FRIENDSHIP, probably forever... My deepest apology to you.

Non Me Lo So Spiegare (Don't Know How To Explain It)

Some years ago during my exchange year in 2003 - 2004, this song was first introduced by Tiziano Ferro, a famous Italian singer with a deep and strong voice, emphasizing the meaning of the song. It is about relationship and how someone tries to make sense all the problems that come within, even the end of the relationship itself. Tragic, huh?


Un po' mi manca l'aria che tirava

I miss a bit the air that pulled
O semplicemente la tua bianca schiena

Or simply your white back
Nananana nananana

E quell'orologio non girava

And that watch didn't turn
Stava fermo sempre da mattina a sera

It was always stopped from morning to evening
Come me lui ti fissava
Like me, it stared at you

Io non piango mai per te

I never ever cry for you

Non faro' niente di simile no mai, nononono nononono
I will never ever do the same thing, nononono nononono

Si lo ammetto un po' ti penso
Yes, I admit a bit that I think of you

Ma mi scanso non mi tocchi più
But I dodge that you don't touch me anymore

Solo che pensavo a quanto è inutile farneticare e credere di stare bene

Only that I thought how unnecessary raving and believing in feeling well

Quando è inverno e te

When it's winter and you
Togli le tue mani calde

Take away your warm hands
Non mi abbracci e mi ripeti che son grande

You don't hold me and you repeat me that I am big

Mi ricordi che rivivo in tante cose

You remember me that I relive in many things

Nananananana

Case, libri, auto, viaggi, fogli di giornale
Boxes, books, cars, trips, sheets of newspaper

Che anche se non valgo niente perlomeno a te
That even if I don't value anything at least to you

Ti permetto di sognare e se hai voglia di lasciarti camminare

I allow you to dream and if you have wish to let yourself walk
Scusa sai non ti vorrei mai disturbare
Sorry! You know, I would never ever want to disturb you

Ma vuoi dirmi come questo può finire...

But don't you wanna tell me how this may end...

Non me lo so spiegare io non me lo so spiegare
Dont know how to explain it, I don't know how to explain it

La notte fonda e la luna piena

The deep night and the full moon
Ci offrivano da dono solo l'atmosfera

They offered us only gift of the atmosphere
Ma l'amavo e l'amo ancora,

But I loved it and still love it,
Ogni dettaglio è aria che mi manca e se sto cosi' sarà la primavera
Every detail is an air that I miss and if I feel so then it will be spring time

Ma non regge più la scusa... No! No!

But it doesn't hold anymore excuse... No! No!

Solo che pensavo a quanto è inutile farneticare e credere di stare bene

Only that I thought how unnecessary raving and believing in feeling well

Quando è inverno e te

When it's winter and you
Togli le tue mani calde

Take away your warm hands
Non mi abbracci e mi ripeti che son grande

You don't hold me and you repeat me that I am big

Mi ricordi che rivivo in tante cose

You remember me that I relive in many things

Nananananana

Case, libri, auto, viaggi, fogli di giornale
Boxes, books, cars, trips, sheets of newspaper

Che anche se non valgo niente perlomeno a te
That even if I don't value anything at least to you

Ti permetto di sognare...

I allow you to dream...

Solo che pensavo a quanto è inutile farneticare e credere di stare bene

Only that I thought how unnecessary raving and believing in feeling well

Quando è inverno e te

When it's winter and you
Togli le tue mani calde

Take away your warm hands
Non mi abbracci e mi ripeti che son grande

You don't hold me and you repeat me that I am big

Mi ricordi che rivivo in tante cose

You remember me that I relive in many things

Ah nananananana

Case, libri, auto, viaggi, fogli di giornale
Boxes, books, cars, trips, sheets of newspaper

Che anche se non valgo niente perlomeno a te
That even if I don't value anything at least to you

Ti permetto di sognare e se hai voglia di lasciarti camminare

I allow you to dream and if you have wish to let yourself walk

Scusa sai non ti vorrei mai disturbare
Sorry! You know, I would never ever want to disturb you

Ma vuoi dirmi come questo può finire...

But don't you wanna tell me how this may end...

Eh ma vuoi dirmi come questo può finire

Hey, but don't you wanna tell me how this may end...

Si, ma vuoi dirmi come questo può finire...

Yes, but don't you wanna tell me how this may end...

You may download it through 4shared.com via this link:
http://www.4shared.com/audio/e1ROhzyq/Tiziano_Ferro_-_06_-_Non_Me_Lo.htm

berteriak

Saya mau berteriak. Ya, saya benar benar ingin berteriak saja. Ya Tuhan, ya teman teman, ya dunia, saya ingin berteriak. Tapi saya rasa tidak ada wadah yang tepat untuk saya meneriakkan ini semua. Jadi saya rasa saya hanya akan berteriak di sini saja. Semoga tidak ada yang terganggu, tapi hati saya tetap bisa lega ketika saya bisa berteriak....
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Ya, cukuplah itu... Nanti suara saya habis kalau berteriak terlalu banyak, kasihan dia kalau terlalu lelah, sama lelahnya seperti kota Jakarta, sama lelahnya seperti dunia ini, sama lelahnya seperti hati dan pikiran ini. Jadi lebih baik saya sudahi saja sampai di sini. Lagipula hati saya sudah cukup lega. Saya yakin. Ya, saya rasa. Saya berharap. Terima kasih.

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Between Cinta, Rasa, or... Drama

When you don't know if it is right or wrong when you're with him, but you know that you wanna be with him all the time? What is it? Cinta, Rasa, or Drama?

When you're extremely jealous with his boyfriends or girlfriends that he spends much more time with them than with you and even make you imagining the most ridicilous things ever? What is it? Cinta, Rasa, or Drama?
When he seems very ordinary to you, yet his absence can make u down and low? What is it? Cinta, Rasa, or Drama?
When he never actually shake your heart to the core, but you can never put your attention off of your cellphones, expecting his call or text? What is it? Cinta, Rasa, or Drama?

Well, actually I don't know what exactly it is, but probably if I were you, I'd say that it's just a Drama. Why? Because people love making drama in their lives and these situations  are just some of the circumstances that they can use as excuses to make drama of drooling or drowning or such. People become fools when they fall in love simply because they make a drama out of it. Once my friend said that this life is just so simple and I guess so is love. We just need to stop over analyzing or questioning everything we are blessed with. If you have feelings for someone or better yet, you fall in love, then so be it. Admit it, enjoy it, seize it, treasure it! Period! End of story... =)

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Conversation of life and love

Once upon a time, there's life and there's love. One day they meet...
Life: why is it that i've never met you before?
Love: well, i don't know actually, because it is not up to me. It is up to the universe, but I guess maybe we meet because it is simply the right time for us to meet

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BENVENUTO by Vasco Rossi

Over a month later, finally I got something to write on my blog. 

So this morning my friend, Iqbal, tagged me to his note in Facebook titled Rose of Sharyn. Turns out it was a little play with the shuffle tool in your Itunes. Well, actually I already knew it quite long time ago, but somehow I never wanted to make one. This morning, Iqbal's list was quite funny for me and made me wanna have one too. So, I just played it... Here it is!

 

RULES:

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

4. Tag 22 friends.

5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.

6. Have Fun

 

 

1.SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?

Four Play - Max O Man

 

2.HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?

Brava Giulia - Vasco Rossi

(Good Julia in English)

 

3.WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

Hot 'N Cold - Katy Perry

 

4.HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Flugufrelsarinn - Sigur Ros

(Avalon in English)

 

5.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?

Mana Lolo Banda - Lagu Manado

( I don't even know what the song means... hahaha)

 

6.WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?

A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton

 

7.WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Old Man - Love from How To Be (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

(I'm not old! *offensive)

 

8.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Menjadi Indonesia - Efek Rumah Kaca

(MANTAP!)

 

9.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Straight Ahead - David Cook

 

10.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Somos Libres - Sore

(Yes, we are all free!)

 

11.WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Mars Republik - The Panas Dalam

(Maksudnya gue akan jadi bagian dari The Panas Dalam suatu saat nanti? Hahaha... Gak kebayang tiap hari bertemu dengan Kang Pidi Baiq XD )

 

12.WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Little Bird - The Weepies

 

13.WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Untukku - Kahitna

(Ahhhh!!! Yes I will....)

 

14.WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Billie Jean - David Cook

 

15.WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

Ci Sarai - Francesco Renga

(There You'll Be in English)

 

16.WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Dancing Barefoot - Allison Moorer

 

17.WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?

Hafsol - Sigur Ros

 

18.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Kelana Bersama - Bonita

 

19.WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

Benvenuto - Vasco Rossi

(WELCOME in English... Fit the note exactly! hehehe)

 

20.WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

Hate That I Love You - Rihanna feat. NeYo

 

21.WHAT SPECIAL SONG FOR YOUR BF/GF?

Gli Spari Sopra - Vasco Rossi

(The Clouds Above in English)

 

22.WHAT SONG YOU MOST LIKE?

Rocket Man - Jason Mraz

Berceritalah pada Dunia, maka Dunia pun akan bercerita padamu

"Tell the world and the world will tell you"

I actually forgot when or where I heard the quote, but somehow when I was listening to the Kings of Convenience album - Declaration of Dependence (have you got it? If you haven't then you should. No, you must! As usual their album is an irresistible peaceful offer to your mind and heart), the quote came again to me and made me realized that I wanted to share some of my 'stories' to the world. That way the world give me other 'stories' in reply... Or at least, that's what I believe.

So, here is my story for today...

Have I told you I am currently studying at college (again) now? Well, let me explain you first a bit about the educational system I'm going through.

When I graduated from high school, I decided to take this diploma program of Financial Accounting at University of Indonesia. In Indonesia, we have this kind of college program, because once we graduate from high school, which is taken for 3 years, we don't get a diploma certificate like other countries in Europe or in America. It is just a high school certificate and for getting the diploma certificate, it usually take 3 years (except me... hehehe. It took me almost 5 years to finish it. Gosh, Accounting was, is, and will always be too much for me!!! Besides, I took also a semester of break. So there you go, I have my reason ^^ ). Then, for this diploma certificate holder like me, in order to get a bachelor degree I have to take another program. It is called Extension Program. I need to take other two and half years for this extension program. Actually, I really hope to finish it in just two years. That way, I don't spend too many years of my age with studying only.

Anyway, so the program has been going on for almost 3 months and then one day, my mom asked me about whether I enjoy it or not. I answered her quickly that I REALLY AM ENJOYING IT. I told her that mostly it is because somehow I end up having this great new friendship with these guys, Mohammad Andika Alfarisi (Dika or Simba, as I always call him) and Adhel Rusd. Of course, there is also Muhammad Iqbal, who has always been there since the very beginning (thank you, dude!). However, her question just made me realized that how short the time I had with them, yet I already felt that I was totally comfort with them. If I may tell you all... We literally go everywhere together. Even Iqbal announced that he opened this faculty called "Fakultas Kehidupan" or in English, "Faculty of Life" and the faculty runs when we all four go out and have fun. We go for karaoke (very often), go to the cinema and watch some movies consequently, hang out at 7 11 for some coffee or hot chocolate (which Dika likes very much because it really can make him high. He doesn't need alcohol or hash or even drugs to make him so. All he need is just a very sweet hot chocolate. We all call it "the chocolate high", like the song from India.Arie), sleep over at Dika's (who live with his grandmother). Well, for summary, we are very comfort with each other and I, myself, think that I am not that easy person to open to new people or community this fast. I'd need some times to observe and explore if I were in the situation, but I guess it doesn't happen to me when it comes to Iqbal, Adhel, and Dika. I really could not have enjoyed the college this much if there hadn't been them around. In fact, I had never really enjoyed college life like this much before.

So there you go boys... I dedicated this entry for you three. Iqbal, my partner in crime and my solid grip (especially when I am not sober, in any kind of way. You know what I mean, right bal? ^^) . Simba, my so-called little brother, who always bring bunch of sweetness that the group needs, especially Iqbal. And the last is... Adhel, my fun "lover" (*wink wink ;-P ), who just re - started his "life" when he met us (So actually, his life stopped going when he still was in the middle school. Fortunately, he met us and now he is already on his way to catch up with the real "life". Well, we kinda help him a bit... hehehe). Thank you guys... Really!

Chocolate High by India.Arie feat. Musiq Soulchild and Heartbreak Warfare by Mr. Mayer

Somehow, I want to listen these songs over and over again. They keep occupying my mind with their lyrics... Oh, I love this world for creating such amazing singers and high quality artists.

Chocolate High 

by India.Arie feat. Musiq Soulchild

Yeah yeah yeah yeahhhh
Ooooh, Ooooh
If we make each other happy, then we just can't lose

I don't mean to be decadent
I might sound like a hedonist
But the simplest way I can put it
You become a habit
The more I consume, the more I gotta have it

Ain't no such thing as too much
If you gave me everything 

It'd never be enough yeah
My black coffee with sugar no 

Cream in the morning

You're my super double caffeine dream yeah

Your precious darkness got me 

So strung out
And lovin' the way that you got me so wide open, my babydoll
Jonesin' and fienin' 

Under my skin
My nerves are screamin' 

When you're not here

See baby I need ya sugar, 

You're so delicious

CHORUS
There is somethin' about your love
That makes me just want to open up
Your flavor is the sweetest thing in life
I'm addicted to your chocolate high
Cause I want you, and I know that you want me
So let's stay close like we supposed to be
And just get high off our own supply
I'm addicted to your chocolate high

I be trippin' in so many ways if I
Go a single day without a taste of your love
The finest cuisine of today's world
Five stars, oh you're so gourmet girl

I crave you, I want you
Every cell in my body needs you
Tasty like Hershey's and Nestle
You're rich like Godiva boy you just so sexy

(Repeat Chorus)

Your flavor is the sweetest thing in life
And I don't ever want to come down
I'm addicted to your chocolate high
Oh yeahhhhhh

(Repeat Chorus Thrice)

Heartbreak Warfare 

by Mr. Mayer

Lightning strikes
Inside, my chest to 

Keep me up at night
Dream of ways
To make you understand my pain

Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really every wins
In heartbreak warfare

If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?

Drop his name
Push it in and 

Twist the knife again
Watch my face
As I pretend to feel no pain

Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare

If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
Just say so...

How come the only way to know how high you get me
is to see how far I fall
God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me
but I can't break free at all.
It's a heartbreak...

I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight
Let's just fix this whole thing now
I swear to God we're gonna get it right
If you put your weapons down
Red wine and ambien
You're talking shit again, it's heartbreak warfare
Good to know it's all a game
Disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak warfare. 

I love beach

How I love the beach! 

I always have been having this big fondness of beach since I was just a little girl. Every time I am at the beach and see the sea, feel the breeze and the particular smell coming from it, it always give me some sensation of happiness. I once read that people who love the beach rather than the mountain are very cheerful and open. I do so like to think myself as one of those people. hehehe....  Feel even luckier because I live in Indonesia, a country with zillions of beautiful beaches and I got my exchange year in Sardinia, Italy where it has many, many amazing beaches. God must love me very, very much.... ^^

right - side photo: the credit goes to my host brother, Luca Galaffu.

Happy Eid Fitr 1431 H

Well, I surely know that the occasion was over a week ago, but it just give me an obligation to praise the moment, especially for all the moslems around the globe. 

HAPPY EID FITR 1431 H

MINAL AIDIN WAL FAIZIN

MOHON MAAF LAHIR DAN BATIN

Hopefully we learn much from this year's Ramadhan and next year, we can feel this holy month again.